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Thursday, January 20, 2022
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    Husband’s little secret revealed after 30 years


    Dear Abby: I have been with my husband for 41 years, married for 30, but we lived together for five years before we tied the knot. I have just learned he has a son who is two months younger than our son. The mother is a woman he slept with while I was pregnant with our first child. She put the baby up for adoption, and the young man has just reached out to my daughter. My husband claims he didn’t find out about the child until after he was relinquished, and he didn’t believe the woman ever really gave birth.

    I am devastated. I feel like my entire marriage to him has been a lie. He says after we were married 31 years ago, he never cheated on me, and I should move past it. What do you think I should do?

    — Unable to Let it Go

    Dear Unable: You have my sympathy. I agree with your husband that you need to move past this, but that doesn’t mean you should forget it. Solid marriages are based on trust, and yours has understandably been shattered.

    If his behavior since your wedding has been as exemplary as he claims, you should be able to review his financial records and see where the marital assets have been going. He should also be willing to discuss this in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he is unwilling to do this, it is another red flag, and you should consider consulting a lawyer.

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