Dear Abby: When my boyfriend talks about women, he doesn’t always refer to them by their name. In most cases, I don’t know the individual. But even if he does refer to her by name, what bothers me is he always follows it by describing her boobs (i.e., “the one with the big boobs, she has got to be at least a 42D, they stick straight out,” or, “she’s petite with a very small waistline”). Yet, he says he loves my figure and always expresses he loves the way I’m built.
I have ignored the “big boob” comments because (I’m guessing) he gets some kind of satisfaction from making them, so I have gone along with it. However, it is becoming increasingly annoying. How can I get him to stop these comments and either refer to the women by name, or “Jerry’s wife, “the woman” or “the lady”? Frankly, I’m not interested in the description; her name will suffice. Also, can you explain why he always slips in the description of the woman’s anatomy?
— More Than a Body
Dear More: A direct way to get your boyfriend to cut it out would be to tell him in plain English that the graphic description of these women’s anatomy is a huge turnoff. As to your second question, your boyfriend does it because this is how he classifies the females he meets. He does not view them as individuals; he identifies them according to their anatomy.
Dear Abby: On two occasions, I have given my girlfriend money (several thousand dollars) to help her cover medical expenses. Both times her father promised to pay me back. He made good on his promise the first time, but it has been almost two months since I fronted the money and he hasn’t paid me back. He promised to do it when he got paid, but he has “gotten paid” several times since.
I’m considering taking him to small claims court. It wouldn’t be his first time in that situation. Am I cheap? Or am I right for wanting to be repaid? If I’m right, how should I proceed?
— Unpaid in Pennsylvania
Dear Unpaid: You were kind to front the money for your girlfriend’s medical treatment. Her father should not have promised to repay you if he didn’t intend to follow through. Contact him again and see if you can’t agree on a payment plan that will be easier for him than paying you a lump sum. But if that doesn’t work, I hope you got the promise he made IN WRITING. If you didn’t, and you take him to small claims court, you will have no proof to show a judge.
That said, if you DO have something in writing, proceed by contacting the county clerk in the small claims court district closest to where her father lives, fill out a “statement of claim” form at the clerk’s office and pay the filing fee. I wish you luck!
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